Yesseriee Bob, you've stumbled upon the SECRET Blatant Endorsements Page. Why all the secrecy? Well, maybe because the company that owns me won't like me endorsing all kinds of products without their approval. (So I gotta keep it on the D.L. - that's "on the down low" for those of you who aren't hip). But here are some of the items, and people that I personally endorse. Hope you all like, and maybe this will help you to get to know me better.

"Weird Al" Yankovic
Reason: Genious
If you've never heard Weird Al, or maybe never heard OF Weird Al, you should be pimp smacked. I'd do it myself if I weren't so busy. Anyway Weird Al shall forever have Billy Bob's endorsement. You should buy his CD's and worship him. I do and look how cool I am.

ToyFare Magazine
Reason: Funny
I hope that everyone out there has read this mag. If not, go out and spend the lousy $5 and read it. Even if you could give a rat's ass about toys. Heck, this magazine hardly has anything to do with toys sometimes. That's what makes it so cool. They should be giving a report on the action figure of the month, and they go off on some irrelvent story. Kinda like this website. Actually, I've stolen more ideas form this mag than I'd like to admit. But if for some reason you're unsure about buying it, just think: ASS JOKES. Go buy it.

Chewbacca
Reason: Hairy
There's just no way to not like this guy. I mean, he growls! How cool is that! Way cool. Actually too cool. If I were Chewy here, I'd have so many chicks hangin on me that I'd have to beat them off with a Fruit Roll-Up. Gee, it must be nice. Star Wars just rules. I'll bet Chewy can get his own cereal if he wants. It'd be called Chewy-O's.

The Insane Clown Posse
Reason: Grotesque
Yes, Billy Bob is also a juggalo. These guys are hell-funny if you can stomach their lyrics. Plus they got the whole Fago thing goin on. Anyway you look at it, they are funny and cool (Kinda like me!) Why are you laughing?

Britney Spears
Reason: Jiggly
Sometimes I think that chicks shouldn't be able to look this good. (It makes the other one's look bad.) But I suppose that if you look this good, you have every right to break any and every law you can. Also looking this good gives you the right to make so-so (or even crappy) music and get away with it. Boy I wish I could do that. My album, Billy Bob Sings the Blues, went all the way to # ... well, it bombed. BAD. But if I had Ms. Spears looks (and khakis) I'll bet I'd be a teenie-bopper too. But sadly I'm about as ugly as toast. (That's with no butter OR jelly.)

Dr. Slice - The Wild One
Reason: Yummy
If you've never tried Dr. Slice, then ya don't know what you're missing pal! Screw all the other "Dr." sodas. This is the only one you need. I tried to get them to supply this at ShowBiz, but they were too cheap to. They even went back to using one-ply toilet paper. What Cheapskates.......

Hulk Hogan
Reason: Hulky
Now it is a well known fact that Billy Bob is maybe the ULTIMATE Hulkamaniac. I forgot this dude existed, but recently I got a Hogan relapse. It's kinda feaky too. I once again have a desire to stay in school, say my prayers, and eat my vitamins. I hope by that he meant Flinstone Vitamins. They're delicious. I like Dino the best.... um, what was I talking about? Oh yeah, the Hulkster. He rules. Period.

Well, that's it for now. I know that in the future I will have lotz of more things to endorse. Why? Because there's just so many cool things in this world that I have to recognize. And they all will be endorsed in good time. Hopefully you'll go and buy some of these items. And if not, that's cool too. I'm not getting paid (or even any credit) by these people for doing this. I'm always getting shafted.

Back to Adventures of Billy Bob Homepage