Man, I really gotta get outta here. My name is "Normal Al" (not to be confused with "Weird Al"), and I was locked away here in the Character Asylum. As part of my punnishment I'm being forced to make a Britney Spears Webpage. It's manditory. So lets just hurry up and get this crap over with...

Geez. I don't even know where to begin. This is so retarded. I mean, I don't even LIKE Britney Spears. I can't seem to understand what the big deal is about her. Yeah, she's cute and all, but so what? And here I am being forced to write a commentary on someone I could give a cat's ass less about. And her music isn't all that great either. Well, that "Oh Baby Baby..." song (or whatever the hell it's called) is pretty cool. But that's it! This is scuba-stupid. There's no way in hell I'm gonna be able to stretch this out to an entire page. I think that I'm going to be sick. All this means to me is one more reason why I gotta break out of this Character Asylum. Oh yes, did I mention how much I HATE it in here? No? Well, I just did.

Well, ok. I can start to see the beauty part. She is seeming to get cuter by the minute. And that one song is kinda catchy. But still people, is Britney really worth a whole page of my time? The answer is no. I mean I don't even know anything about her. (But I'm kinda statring to wish I did...) I wonder how she got so hot. Maybe I'll ask Philosophical Phil. I bet he'd know. Wow, I wonder what it would be like to meet her. I bet she's even prettier up close in person.....

Wow, look at this picture of her! Man she is SO HOT! I can't believe it! Could she be any hotter? I don't think so. Man I've gotta meet her! I bet I could get backstage at one of her concerts. The next time Stealing Santa steals some backstage passes, I'll have to beg him for one. Now I'm gonna have to go buy a poster of her and hang it on the wall. I could make my room into a Britney worshiping shrine! Yeah! And I could invite Chuck E. Cheese over. He and I would actually have something to talk about for a change! (He's like her biggest fan). Well, maybe. I think I may have to give him a run for his money. DAMN Britney Spears is COOL!

Well, I feel like I could go on about Britney all day long! I mean she is the hottest girl I've ever seen and...... what? What do you mean I'm outta room? NO! This can't be. Now I actually wanna talk about Britney! I didn't even get to the part about how awesome her khakis were! Can't the page be made bigger? No? DAMMIT! I hate this crummy Character Asylum!