This was definetely a good mental exercise for one even as talented as myself. Just how did Britney Spears get to be so angelic in her form. Was it simple genitics, cosmetic surgery, or maybe caused by aliens from Jupiter? We'll explore this issue and try to rationalize just how this strange phenomena came to exist. Perhaps the most intriguing part about Ms. Spears is her extreme beauty.

Okay, let's think this through. The first explanation for her beauty (and jiggly boobs) is that they were enhanced through cosmetic surgery. This could be true, but lets examine the facts. First off, these sound more like vicious allegations than truth. But why would anyone start these rumors? Simple - Jealousy. Heck, I'm kinda jealous of her. When confronted in a Yahoo! chat about cosmetic surgery what did Ms. Spears have to say? She said that it was all lies. There you have it folks, straight from the source: it's all lies. The combination of Britney's denial, and a motive for anyone to make these allegations makes this one case closed. Cosmetic enhancement is not it.

Onto genetics. This one really makes me irritated. You're gonna try to tell me that some bumpin' and grindin's gonna produce an angel like this? What kinda moron do you take me for. I don't care what these "know it all" Biologists would claim. I mean look at her. Just think of how hot her parents would have to be. Think hard, picture their faces... you can't can you? Look at it this way, it's like carving the Venus De Milo Statue with a rusty tin can and a sack of silly putty. Do you understand what I'm getting at here? It's impossible; there's no point in even trying to visualize it or rationalize it. Genetics played a very small part in it - if any part at all.

Ok, before you have a cow and whiz your pants let me explain. If it's not cosmetic surgery then she had to be born that way, correct? And if gentetics aren't the real reason she's so hot, then how was she born that way? Feel lost, confused? Well, don't worry, the solution lies in My Conclusion.......

My conclusion is simple - Britney is somehow the product of divine intervention. Nobody is naturally this hot. She got some help from the guy upstairs (and I mean God, not Uncle Marty who's staying in the guest room.) Yes, that's the only explaination folks, and it explains it perfectly. Man, I am too smart for my own good sometimes ya know? Well, anyway I've figured out just why she's so hot, and now you know too. Pass on this knowledge.

Still not convinced?
You argue that Britney won't admit to having Breast implants because "who would really admit it"? And you argue that you have seen her parents and they're good looking too? Her mom is so hot that she melts iron, and her dad is fine enough to make a man go gay? WHAT! How dare you, you insignificant worm. I'M PHILOSOPHICAL PHIL! Don't question my philosophies! I know it all, and I'm smarter than your entire family tree! Besides I'm as smart as Britney is hot, yet another example of divine intervention. SO HA!

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