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Top 10 Reasons Why Not to Trust Spam
1.) It is rumored that it belongs to an alien race that plans on world domination.
2.) It's not Ham, it's not Spit. Come to think of it, what the hell is it? Whatever it is, my suggestion is not to eat it.
3.) It can be used to cement tiles together. It was an integral part of getting those French Tiles together in my bathroom.
4.) I'm not sure but I think that it contains Squirrel Feces.
5.) It tastes better coming up than going down.
6.) My mother used to force feed me this stuff as a kid. She said that it would put hair on my chest. Sheesh mom, just because your chest is hairy doesn't mean that mine needs to be.
7.) It doesn't go well with anything. Period. Besides, do you serve it as a main course, or a side dish, or what? Someone please inform me.
8.) I once had a slice of Spam try to tell me to kill my dog Fido. I almost did but luckily I came to my senses after only cutting off Fido's leg.
9.) Spam is a key ingredient in the drug LSD. (Or acid to the common folk.)
10.) It always beats me at video games. I don't understand this because Spam has no hands. 007 Goldeneye multiplayer just isn't fun anymore.
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