COVER STORY!
Michael Jackson visits ShowBiz

Yes folks, the king of pop himself Michael Jackson visited a local area ShowBiz Pizza Place last month and employees claim that he actually stole store property! What would drive a celebrity superstar to stoop so low? To find out, we interviewed an employee who was on duty that day.

Bradley, one of the employees on the scene that day recalls the incident. "We were just about to begin a birthday party when there was some confusion at the entrance of the store. A crowd had gathered and I rushed over to see what all the fuss was about when I saw him. It was Michael Jackson. Kids were screaming and everyone was clammoring for autographs. He eventually made his way to the showroom where he sat and ate a medium pizza with no green peppers - he said he doesn't like those things."

Bradley continued, "I was star-struck at first but then my senses came to me when I saw little boys taking turns sitting in his lap so they could have their picture with him. I took matters into my own hands and began gathering up all the boys. One by one I snuck them into Billy Bob's dressing room to hide them. I had hidden away about a dozen or so when I went back into the showroom to get more kids when he was gone. Someone told me that they saw him leave with some stage parts including a frog and some foliage."
"There I was trying to rescue all these little kids and he goes and steals a frog. What a freak, I mean what on earth would he want to have a big rubber frog for... you know what, I don't even want to know. I also got in trouble over this whole incident. Since I was supposed to be watching the showroom at the time, my boss took the stolen property out of my check. Do you know how much Creative Engineering charges for replacement parts?!? As far as I can figure, this company owns me for the next 2 years."
We asked Bradley if he had any comment on the 14 children who suffered from heat stroke and near suffocation, and the little handicapped boy who ultimately died from respitory complications because of visiting the store the night of the Jackson incident. His only words were, "Um... yeah. I don't think I know anything about that. I like wasn't there that night or something."