Crusty's Catnip Habit Takes Center Stage
Desiree Fenstein - POLITICO
During his final round of campaign rallies, President Obama had some feisty new comments and passionate language to fire up his followers. No, we're not talking about the voting for "revenge" comment - President Obama dropped an entirely new attack on his opponents, including a new bombshell on little-known candidate Crusty the Cat.
"I've demonstrated to the American people that Crusty doesn't have the qualifications or integrity to hold the office of the presidency," Obama told his crowd of nearly 30,000 supporters, "but everyday it seems like Crusty's character reveals a new flaw - making it clear why his character was the first to be discontinued by Pizza Time Theatre."
"I've heard that Crusty is blaming me of not moving the economy forward, and that it's MY fault he's been unemployed since 1978. But just this morning we've learned that the reason he's out of work is because he can't pass a simple drug test to get a job! That's right - Crusty is a rampant user of catnip! And no, it's not medicinal...he doesn't even have glaucoma."
Crusty's campaign has been battered by accusations from all across the political spectrum during this 2012 election. Everything from indecency, to the origin of his birthplace, to infidelity rumors, to these new accusations of drug use. How this will impact his final days of campaigning will remain to be seen, but according to the polls, the outcome doesn't look good for Crusty.
Crusty's campaign manager has released a follow up statement to this article: "This newest attack by President Obama is false and misleading. Yes, Crusty the Cat tried catnip once in college...but he never inhaled!"
Desiree Fenstein - POLITICO
"I've demonstrated to the American people that Crusty doesn't have the qualifications or integrity to hold the office of the presidency," Obama told his crowd of nearly 30,000 supporters, "but everyday it seems like Crusty's character reveals a new flaw - making it clear why his character was the first to be discontinued by Pizza Time Theatre."
"I've heard that Crusty is blaming me of not moving the economy forward, and that it's MY fault he's been unemployed since 1978. But just this morning we've learned that the reason he's out of work is because he can't pass a simple drug test to get a job! That's right - Crusty is a rampant user of catnip! And no, it's not medicinal...he doesn't even have glaucoma."
Crusty's campaign has been battered by accusations from all across the political spectrum during this 2012 election. Everything from indecency, to the origin of his birthplace, to infidelity rumors, to these new accusations of drug use. How this will impact his final days of campaigning will remain to be seen, but according to the polls, the outcome doesn't look good for Crusty.
Crusty's campaign manager has released a follow up statement to this article: "This newest attack by President Obama is false and misleading. Yes, Crusty the Cat tried catnip once in college...but he never inhaled!"