BREAKING NEWS: CRUSTY ANNOUNCES A RUNNING MATE
Missy Meow - Crusty Campaign Staff
I'’m happy to report that this morning, Crusty the Cat officially announced his Vice Presidential running mate at a campaign rally in Sheboygan, Wisconsin. For weeks there has been intense speculation about who he might choose, but as of 9AM this morning, the wait is finally over.
Crusty has tapped Harmony Howlette to be his second in command! The choice was made based on a variety of reasons. It demonstrates his ability to transcend political boundaries and his willingness to ‘reach across the aisle’ (it’s well known that Harmony is a RePuglican). This choice also proves to the world that cats and dogs can truly get along!
Harmony strengthens the overall ticket by bringing her personal expertise to the table – as a lifetime resident of Western Texas, Harmony has a keen and unmatched expertise in both foreign policy AND immigration policy – after all, she can see Mexico from her house.
It’'s also important to note that in the fortunate event that Crusty wins the presidency, yet the unfortunate event occurs that all nine of his lives expire while in office, Harmony will become the nation'’s first female (and first coyote) to hold this country’'s highest office. Though we don'’t wish harm on our main-man Crusty, we know that Ms. Howlette will be an amazing backup and will continue to push forward and lead this nation in Crusty’'s honor!
Missy Meow - Crusty Campaign Staff
Crusty has tapped Harmony Howlette to be his second in command! The choice was made based on a variety of reasons. It demonstrates his ability to transcend political boundaries and his willingness to ‘reach across the aisle’ (it’s well known that Harmony is a RePuglican). This choice also proves to the world that cats and dogs can truly get along!
Harmony strengthens the overall ticket by bringing her personal expertise to the table – as a lifetime resident of Western Texas, Harmony has a keen and unmatched expertise in both foreign policy AND immigration policy – after all, she can see Mexico from her house.
It’'s also important to note that in the fortunate event that Crusty wins the presidency, yet the unfortunate event occurs that all nine of his lives expire while in office, Harmony will become the nation'’s first female (and first coyote) to hold this country’'s highest office. Though we don'’t wish harm on our main-man Crusty, we know that Ms. Howlette will be an amazing backup and will continue to push forward and lead this nation in Crusty’'s honor!